Grief & Loss
Coping with Grief: No Set Stages, No Timetable, and 4 Sessions for Rest
Some mornings you still take two cups out of the cupboard. Coping with grief isn’t a matter of stages or a timetable, whatever you’ve read. Below is what the research actually found, free things that help, and four guided sessions that give you a quiet, repeatable time to rest.
If you have thought about not wanting to be here, please talk to someone tonight.Those thoughts deserve a person, not a recording.
- Lifeline: 13 11 14, or text 0477 13 11 14, 24/7. Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467.
- In immediate danger, call 000.
- MensLine Australia: 1300 78 99 78, and 13YARN: 13 92 76 for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people. Both 24/7.
- Griefline, now part of SANE Australia: 1300 845 745, Monday to Friday, 10am to 8pm AEST/AEDT; not a crisis line. Online forums 24/7 for anyone 18 and over.
- Grief Australia: 1800 642 066. Free counselling for Victorians. No crisis service.
- Still intense after many months, and getting in the way of daily life? See a GP. Grief-specific therapy has good trial evidence for people who feel stuck.
Four quiet sessions, sorted by the loss
For a death the other grief pages don’t cover, a funeral this week, a friendship that ended, or the long months after. Each is a guided, repeatable time to rest.
US$18.95each · one-off · about A$27 · ninety-day refund
Find the one that fits ↓Every session is an instant MP3 from the publisher, with ninety days to change your mind. Checkout opens on hypnosisdownloads.com in a new tab.
Chosen by Ernest McLeodClinical hypnotherapist. An Adelaide practice, seeing clients across Australia by video. Fourteen years in practice. About Ernest →
I earn a commission if you buy any of the four sessions on this page. You pay the same, and it has no say in which page or number I point you to.
What does a recording give you?
A quiet, structured time to rest: a guided relaxation of fifteen to twenty-six minutes, a calm voice steering while you lie still. One widely used model of grief, explained below, counts time off from grieving as part of coping rather than avoidance. A recording is a simple way to take that time on purpose.
Is a recording second best to a person in the room? The largest recent review of hypnosis for pain (Yim and Derbyshire, 2026) compared how it was delivered and found no meaningful difference between a live clinician, a recording and self-hypnosis. That research was on pain, not on grief, but it’s the best evidence there is that a recording isn’t a second-rate version of sitting in a room with someone. It can’t talk back. That is what the numbers above are for.
Grief, on an ordinary weekday
- Two cups out of the cupboard before you remember
- Their number still in your favourites, and your thumb won’t press delete
- A shopping list in their handwriting, still on the fridge
- Fine all morning, then undone in the car park by a song
- Awake at three, going over the last few weeks again
If some of these are yours, the table sorts which kind of loss this is.
What are the 7 stages of grief?
There isn’t an agreed list of seven, and the better-known five don’t hold up well either. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance came from Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s 1969 observations of dying patients, not bereaved people. A 2017 review by leading bereavement researchers found no sound scientific basis for them, and warned that expecting people to go through stages “can be harmful to those who do not.”
The one study that tested them followed 233 bereaved people for two years. Acceptance was the feeling most often reported, from the start; yearning, not denial, was the strongest painful one. The authors saw a loose order in when feelings peaked, other researchers disputed it, and the authors later called them grief states. As healthdirect puts it, grief “can come in waves.” If acceptance came in week one and then left, nothing has gone wrong.
How long does grief last?
There is no timetable. healthdirect says that for most people the intensity eases over time, and that you may always carry some sadness. In a study of 301 older Americans whose husband or wife died, about two in three (66.3%) showed little or no depression over four years, and 9.1% had depression after the loss that had eased by then.
That was one older, widowed group, measured on depression, so it doesn’t transfer to every loss. For a smaller group grief stays intense and disabling: about one in ten after a non-violent death, in a 2017 review of 14 studies. Only a health professional can diagnose that. healthdirect suggests seeking help if grief “has been distressing for 12 months or more” or gets in the way of everyday life.
It’s worth doing: grief-specific therapy works well for people who are stuck. In a 2016 trial of 395 people, 82.5% responded to complicated grief treatment plus a placebo tablet, against 54.8% given the placebo with grief monitoring and encouragement. Counselling offered to everyone after a loss shows little lasting benefit; a 2008 review of 61 studies put that down to most people improving on their own.
Which kind of loss is this?
Sorted by what happened, not by the word you searched. The first three rows point to a person rather than a recording; if one of them is yours, it comes first. A relationship ending is a loss too, with its own section.
| If this is your loss… | Start with | Who it is wrong for |
|---|---|---|
| Thoughts of not wanting to be here | Lifeline, 13 11 14, or the Suicide Call Back Service, 1300 659 467 | Every recording on this site |
| Still intense after many months, and getting in the way of daily life | A GP, and grief-specific therapy | A recording, as the first step |
| A child died, or the death was sudden or violent | A GP, and Grief Australia, 1800 642 066 | Nothing sold here is for this |
| A pet who died | Death of a Pet | Wrong while the pet is still alive and ill |
| Your mum or dad, at any age | Dealing with the Death of a Parent | Wrong while a parent is still alive and fading |
| Your husband, wife or partner | Death Of A Partner | Wrong in place of a GP visit in the first months |
| Someone you love is still here: dying, or changed by dementia | Grief before a death | Nothing sold is about this grief itself |
| A relationship ended, and nobody died | Getting over someone | The four grief sessions below |
| A friendship ended or faded | Losing a Friend, below | Wrong for a friend who died |
| A funeral in the next few days | Funeral Calm, below | Wrong if you hope to get through it feeling nothing |
| A grandparent, sibling or friend died | Dealing with Grief, below | Wrong if the second row is yours |
| Months in, and tired of hearing “time heals” | Let Time Heal, below | Wrong as a promise about time. There isn’t one |
Why does grief come in waves?
Because grieving people move back and forth, and that is what coping usually looks like. Stroebe and Schut’s Dual Process Model, one widely used model of grief, describes two kinds of coping: facing the loss, and rebuilding daily life around it. People swing between them, and the model counts taking respite from both as “an integral part of adaptive coping.”
It is a model, not a trial result. But it speaks to something many people feel guilty about: the afternoon you laughed. That isn’t forgetting them.
What helps with grief, and costs nothing?
Four things from the research above, none of them a rule. Some people grieve out loud, some quietly, and both can do well. The first is the one a recording suits, so the sessions below are a good place to practise it.
- Take time off from grief, on purpose
A short stretch most days that isn’t about the loss: a walk, a crossword, twenty minutes lying still. If guilt follows you into it, that’s common. It doesn’t mean you care less.
- Look after your body in the plain ways
healthdirect’s list is short: regular exercise, healthy food, enough sleep, alcohol drunk responsibly, no recreational drugs. Grief makes each one harder. If the nights won’t settle after a few weeks, tell a GP.
- Keep people near, without explaining yourself
You don’t have to talk it all through; some people grieve quietly and do well. Company still matters. A walk with someone who doesn’t ask questions counts.
- Mark the hard dates before they arrive
healthdirect notes that birthdays, anniversaries and holidays can bring grief back hard. Give each one a small plan now: who you’ll ring, where you’ll go.
What is disenfranchised grief?
Grief that the people around you don’t recognise or make room for: a pet, an ex, a friend, a colleague, a parent who died at ninety. It is still grief, and carrying it unnoticed is part of what makes it heavy. A 2023 review of 48 studies found that people whose pet had died were likely to meet this, often with embarrassment and loneliness.
The pet grief and losing a parent pages start there. For a relationship that ended, begin with getting over someone.
Four sessions, and what each one is for
Pets, parents and partners have their own pages; these four cover the rest. Two are narrated by Mark Tyrrell, two by Roger Elliott, and two have a free preview. Each is US$18.95, about A$27, an instant MP3 with the publisher’s 90-day refund, listed by what the publisher says each has sold.
Dealing with Grief
For a death the other pages here don’t cover. The publisher says it works with setting aside times for grieving.
Let Time Heal
For the long months after. The title is the publisher’s; I make no promise about time.
Losing a Friend
For a friendship that ended or drifted away. Not for a friend who died.
Funeral Calm
For the days before a funeral, if you’re afraid of being overwhelmed on the day. It isn’t about holding back tears.
Lifetime purchases, self-reported by the publisher and not audited: 811, 290, 215 and 144, in the order above.
A count shows what people chose, not how it went.
Who are these four wrong for?
If any of these is you, a person is the better first step: a GP, a grief counsellor, or one of the numbers at the top of this page. For everyone else, one rule applies to all four: never listen while driving, or anywhere else that needs your attention.
- You have had thoughts of not wanting to be here.
- Grief has stayed intense for many months and is stopping you working, eating or sleeping.
- Your child died, or the death was sudden or violent.
- You hope a recording will make grief stop, or give you closure. Nothing does that.
If tonight is hard, the lines below are open now.
Free and confidential, open now. Tap to call.
What has and hasn’t been studied
A PubMed search run for this page on 25 September 2026 found one randomised trial of hypnosis for grief. Çınaroğlu and colleagues (2026) assigned 39 university students in Turkey with symptoms of prolonged grief to in-person Ericksonian hypnotherapy, to CBT, or to a waiting list. Both therapies did better than waiting. The full paper is paywalled, so its effect sizes couldn’t be checked.
About 13 people to a group, a waiting list rather than an equally attentive comparison, a therapist rather than a recording, and not yet repeated by an independent group. No hypnosis recording has been tested for grief.
Common questions about coping with grief
Can hypnosis help with grief?
A hypnosis recording offers a quiet, guided time to rest, which one widely used model of grief counts as part of coping. Whether hypnosis helps with grief has barely been tested: one small trial of in-person hypnotherapy found it and CBT both did better than a waiting list. No recording has been tested for grief.
Are the five stages of grief real?
Not as a sequence people pass through. They came from Kübler-Ross’s 1969 observations of dying patients, and a 2017 review by bereavement researchers found no sound scientific basis for them. In the one study that tested them, acceptance was common from the start and yearning was the strongest painful feeling.
How long does grief last?
There is no set time. For most people the intensity eases, and many carry some sadness for good. In a study of 301 widowed older adults, about two in three showed little or no depression over four years. If grief is still distressing after 12 months, see a GP.
When should I see a GP about grief?
healthdirect suggests seeking help if you have persistent feelings of sadness and despair, if your grief has been distressing for 12 months or more, or if it is getting in the way of everyday life. Grief-specific therapy has good trial evidence for people who are stuck, and a GP can refer you.
Is Griefline open 24 hours?
No. Griefline, now part of SANE Australia, answers 1300 845 745 Monday to Friday, 10am to 8pm AEST/AEDT, and it is not a crisis line. Its online forums are open 24/7 to anyone 18 and over. In a crisis, call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or the Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467.
Which of the four sessions is mine?
Go by what happened. Funeral Calm is for the days before a funeral, Losing a Friend for a friendship that ended, Let Time Heal for the long months after a death, and Dealing with Grief for any other death. Pets, parents, partners and grief before a death have their own pages.
Where to go next
- Grief before a deathSomeone is still here, and you are already missing them.
- Death Of A PartnerIf it was your husband, wife or partner.
- Getting over someoneIf the loss is a relationship, and nobody died.
- Waking in the NightIf three o’clock has become the hardest hour.
Where these numbers come from
- Yim TH, Derbyshire SWG. A systematic review of hypnosis for clinical pain relief. Eur J Pain. 2026;30(8):e70369. doi:10.1002/ejp.70369
- Stroebe M, Schut H, Boerner K. Cautioning health-care professionals: bereaved persons are misguided through the stages of grief. Omega (Westport). 2017;74(4):455-73. doi:10.1177/0030222817691870
- Maciejewski PK, Zhang B, Block SD, Prigerson HG. An empirical examination of the stage theory of grief. JAMA. 2007;297(7):716-23. doi:10.1001/jama.297.7.716
- Stroebe M, Schut H. The dual process model of coping with bereavement: rationale and description. Death Stud. 1999;23(3):197-224. doi:10.1080/074811899201046
- Galatzer-Levy IR, Bonanno GA. Beyond normality in the study of bereavement: heterogeneity in depression outcomes following loss in older adults. Soc Sci Med. 2012;74(12):1987-94. doi:10.1016/j.socscimed.2012.02.022
- Lundorff M, Holmgren H, Zachariae R, Farver-Vestergaard I, O’Connor M. Prevalence of prolonged grief disorder in adult bereavement: a systematic review and meta-analysis. J Affect Disord. 2017;212:138-49. doi:10.1016/j.jad.2017.01.030
- Shear MK, Reynolds CF 3rd, Simon NM, Zisook S, Wang Y, Mauro C, et al. Optimizing treatment of complicated grief: a randomized clinical trial. JAMA Psychiatry. 2016;73(7):685-94. doi:10.1001/jamapsychiatry.2016.0892
- Currier JM, Neimeyer RA, Berman JS. The effectiveness of psychotherapeutic interventions for bereaved persons: a comprehensive quantitative review. Psychol Bull. 2008;134(5):648-61. doi:10.1037/0033-2909.134.5.648
- Park RM, Royal KD, Gruen ME. A literature review: pet bereavement and coping mechanisms. J Appl Anim Welf Sci. 2023;26(3):285-99. doi:10.1080/10888705.2021.1934839
- Çınaroğlu M, Yılmazer E, Ülker SV, Çinar F. Effects of Ericksonian hypnotherapy versus cognitive behavioral therapy on prolonged grief among university students: a randomized clinical trial. Int J Clin Exp Hypn. 2026;74(1):93-120. doi:10.1080/00207144.2025.2464747
- healthdirect Australia. Grief and loss [Internet]. Canberra: Australian Government; 2026 [cited 2026 Sep 25]. healthdirect.gov.au
- Griefline. Nationwide telephone support [Internet]. [cited 2026 Sep 25]. griefline.org.au
Ernest McLeod — clinical hypnotherapist. An Adelaide practice, seeing clients across Australia by video. Fourteen years in practice.
- ICHP
- FELLOW, ASCH
- IICT MEMBER
None of these recordings is mine. What is mine is the order: the numbers first, the sessions last. More →
One thing for this week: put the next birthday or anniversary in your calendar, and beside it, the name of one person you’ll ring that day.
Ninety days to change your mind. Ask the publisher and they refund you in full, no questions asked, one order per customer. The refund is theirs, and I can’t widen it.
Results vary from person to person, and hypnosis does not replace medical care or treatment. Self-help audio only, not a treatment for grief. If you have thoughts of not wanting to be here: Lifeline 13 11 14, Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467; in danger, 000. Griefline (1300 845 745) is not a crisis line. Never listen while driving.