Relationships & Heartbreak
How to Get Over Someone: What Helps, and 10 Sessions Sorted by What Happened
Their name is still second in your recent calls, and you opened their profile twice today. Below are the free steps the breakup research supports, a table that sorts which kind of losing someone this is, and ten guided sessions that give you a structured, repeatable way to relax and rehearse those steps.
First: are you afraid of them?If a partner or ex frightens you, controls who you see, checks your phone or location, or has hurt you, or you fear what happens if you leave, nothing on this site is for that. I have left the publisher’s recordings on abusive relationships off on purpose: that needs a person who can plan with you.
- 1800RESPECT — 1800 737 732, or text 0458 737 732. 24/7, with chat and video on their website.
- In immediate danger, call 000.
- Relationships Australia — 1300 364 277. Counselling, including for couples.
- If the low has lasted weeks, is stopping you working or sleeping, or you have thought of not wanting to be here: see a GP. With a mental health treatment plan, Medicare’s Better Access subsidises up to 10 individual sessions a calendar year. Tonight, Lifeline is 13 11 14.
Ten sessions worth your time
Sorted by what the pain is attached to — a breakup, someone who never loved you back, a jealous jolt, or a name you can’t stop checking — each one a guided, repeatable way to relax and practise the free steps on this page.
US$18.95each · one-off · about A$27 · ninety-day refund
Find the one that fits ↓Every session is an instant MP3 from the publisher, with ninety days to change your mind. Checkout opens on hypnosisdownloads.com in a new tab.
Chosen by Ernest McLeodClinical hypnotherapist. An Adelaide practice, seeing clients across Australia by video. Fourteen years in practice. About Ernest →
I earn a commission if you buy any of the ten. You pay the same, and it has no say in which I point you to.
What does a recording give you?
A structured, repeatable way to relax and rehearse. Each session is just under nineteen to thirty minutes of lying still with a calm voice steering, at the hour you might otherwise open their profile. The evening gets a routine that isn’t checking.
Is a recording second best to a live session? The largest recent review of hypnosis for pain (Yim and Derbyshire, 2026) compared how it was delivered and found no meaningful difference between a live clinician, a recording and self-hypnosis. That research was on pain, not on getting over someone, but it’s the best evidence there is that a recording isn’t a second-rate version of sitting in a room with someone.
Does any of this sound like your week?
- Opening their profile “just to check”, then again after tea
- A jumper of theirs you have neither washed nor given back
- Scrolling the old messages all the way up to the first one
- Reaching for your phone to tell them something, then remembering
- A song in the supermarket, and the trolley left in aisle four
Recognise two? The table sorts which kind this is.
Is it normal to feel depressed after a breakup?
Common, and for some people it goes further than feeling low. In a Dutch study of 71 people whose relationship had ended in the previous six months, 26.8% reported symptoms matching mild, moderate or severe depression. Most were not. The GP line above is for those who were.
How long it lasts varies. Verhallen’s group checked on 87 people fortnightly for 30 weeks after a breakup and found four paths: 38 resilient, 22 recovering fast, 19 slowly, 8 still distressed at the end. The slow and stuck ruminated more, going round the same questions. One small study: a sketch. The popular eleven-week figure is usually credited to a 2007 paper, but it isn’t in that paper’s abstract, and I couldn’t verify it.
Which kind of losing someone is this?
Thirteen rows, sorted by what happened rather than by the word you would search for. The first three point to a phone number rather than a session. They sit at the top because if one of them is yours, that comes first.
| If this is your version of it… | Start with | Who it is wrong for |
|---|---|---|
| Afraid of a partner or ex, or afraid to leave | 1800RESPECT, 1800 737 732 | Everything sold here |
| Weeks of low mood, not working or sleeping, or thoughts of not being here | A GP. Lifeline, 13 11 14, tonight | A recording, as a first step |
| You both want to try again, or a separation needs sorting out | Relationships Australia, 1300 364 277 | A recording reaches one of you |
| It has ended, whoever ended it, and days are hard | Getting Over a Relationship, below | Wrong while you are still deciding |
| Slower and heavier, closer to grief, months in | Mend Your Broken Heart, below | Wrong if the second row is yours |
| They stopped replying one day and never explained | Get Over Being Ghosted, below | Wrong while you still hope for the reply |
| A marriage ending, with lawyers and property | Get Over Divorce, below | Wrong in place of legal advice |
| Years of loving someone who never loved you back | Unrequited Love | Wrong for a few weeks of infatuation |
| A brief, intense crush on someone you barely know | Get Over a Crush | Wrong once it has lasted years |
| Over, and they still take hours of your day | Stop Thinking About Someone | Wrong if it is memories of being hurt. See a GP |
| Together, and you keep checking their phone or location | Overcoming Jealousy | Wrong if the jealous one is your partner. See row one |
| A slow reply reads as the end | Overcome Rejection Sensitivity | Wrong as a stand-in for an ADHD assessment |
| It is fine, and you still brace for them leaving | Fear Of Abandonment | Wrong alongside self-harm or intense mood swings. See a GP |
How do you get over someone you still love?
Slowly, and mostly by cutting contact rather than arguing yourself out of it. A study that beeped 58 young adults at random for 28 days after a breakup found love declined steadily, and contact with the former partner slowed the fall of love and sadness. Still loving them is where everyone starts.
What fails is ordering yourself not to think about them. In Wegner and Gold’s experiments, suppressing thoughts of a past partner made them come back more for people who no longer wanted the relationship, and raised physical arousal in those who still did. It is the core of the stop thinking about someone page.
What are the 5 stages of a breakup?
I can’t find five stages in any of the breakup research behind this page. The study that tracked people most closely found four paths instead: some barely dipped, some recovered fast, some slowly, and a few stayed distressed for all 30 weeks. Different speeds, not the same stations in order.
What helps after a breakup, and costs nothing?
Four things, each with a study behind it. Most advice on how to get over a breakup is a long list; the research lands on two levers. How much contact and checking there is, and whether your thinking goes round in circles or somewhere useful. Start with the first one tonight; the recordings are a good place to practise the rest.
- Mute them rather than hunting them
In Marshall’s survey of 464 people, checking an ex on Facebook went with more distress and longing, while simply staying Facebook friends went with less longing. Mute them on every app and take the shortcut off your home screen. A survey shows a link, not a cause.
- Put contact on hold
Contact slowed the fading of love and sadness in Sbarra and Emery’s diary study. Where it can’t stop (a lease, the dog, children) keep it to email and the practical item.
- Write about who you are now, not why it ended
Larson and Sbarra randomly assigned 210 recently separated young adults to four reflective research visits over nine weeks, or two. The four-visit group regained more sense of who they were without the ex, which went with less intrusion and loneliness. Keep it that way round: in Sbarra’s 2013 trial of 90 separated adults, intensive emotional writing left those still searching for why worse off, up to nine months later.
- Pick the tool for the moment
In Langeslag and Sanchez’s experiment, dwelling on an ex’s faults lowered love feelings but worsened mood; distraction lifted mood and left the love alone. So keep a short, true list for the evening you want to ring them, and something absorbing for the bad hour.
Ten sessions, and what each one is for
Eight are narrated by Roger Elliott and two by Mark Tyrrell. Four have a free preview. They are listed by what the publisher says each has sold.
Getting Over a Relationship
For either side of an ending. The shortest here.
Overcoming Jealousy
For your own jealousy. Never for a partner’s.
Unrequited Love
For long, one-sided love, usually for someone you know.
Fear Of Abandonment
For bracing for an exit in a relationship that is fine.
Stop Thinking About Someone
For the person who has gone and still takes up the day.
Mend Your Broken Heart
For the slower weight, closer to grief.
Get Over a Crush
For a brief infatuation where nothing can come of it.
Get Over Divorce
Alongside the lawyer, not instead. The longest here.
Overcome Rejection Sensitivity
For reading every pause as the end. It assesses nothing.
Get Over Being Ghosted
For a partner or friend who simply stopped replying.
Lifetime purchases, self-reported by the publisher and not audited: 5,998, 4,296, 4,045, 3,362, 2,110, 1,465, 1,231, 600, 398 and 230, in the order above.
The top title has outsold the bottom one about twenty-six to one. Sales show what people choose, not results.
Who are these ten wrong for?
“Rejection sensitive dysphoria” is a popular term, often tied online to ADHD, and not an officially recognised diagnosis. Intense fear of abandonment is also one feature of borderline personality disorder. A recording can’t assess either; a GP can.
- You are afraid of a partner or an ex, or of what happens if you leave.
- Low mood has lasted weeks, or you have thought of not wanting to be here.
- You want one to make a partner less jealous, or to prove you are working on yourself.
- Fear of being left comes with self-harm or sudden mood swings.
- You hope it will make you forget them. Nothing does that.
Free and confidential, open now. Tap to call.
What has and hasn’t been studied
A PubMed search run for this page on 25 September 2026 paired hypnosis with breakup, heartbreak, unrequited love, jealousy, rejection sensitivity, abandonment and divorce. It found no controlled trial of hypnosis for any of them.
The nearest is a 2026 trial of in-person hypnotherapy for prolonged grief after a death: 39 students, about 13 per group, against CBT and a waiting list. Hypnotherapy came out marginally ahead. Bereavement is a different loss, it was a therapist rather than a recording, and the same group publishes unusually many trials, so it needs an independent repeat.
Common questions about getting over someone
What is the 72-hour rule after a breakup?
It’s online advice with several versions, mostly about waiting before you contact an ex, and I can’t trace any of them to a study. The research points the same way for longer: in a 28-day diary study of 58 young adults, contact with a former partner slowed the fading of love and sadness.
What’s the hardest day after a breakup?
No study names a day. Distress runs highest close to the breakup: among 192 university students, the most distressed had less time since it happened, hadn’t ended it themselves, or didn’t see it coming. So plan for the first few weeks as a stretch, rather than bracing for one particular date.
What does a broken heart feel like?
Often like more than sadness. Among 192 university students, the most distressed after a breakup also had more intrusive thoughts, more trouble controlling them, more disturbed sleep, and higher depression and anxiety scores. It was a snapshot, so it can’t say which came first, but the sleep and the looping thoughts are part of it.
I’m heartbroken. What should I do?
Tonight, mute them on every app, and don’t order yourself not to think about them. This week, keep contact practical and write about who you are now, not why it ended. If you are afraid of them, ring 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732. If the low has lasted weeks, see a GP, or ring Lifeline on 13 11 14.
Can hypnosis help you get over someone?
A recording gives you a structured, repeatable way to relax and practise the steps the breakup research supports. Whether hypnosis itself helps hasn’t been tested: no controlled trial exists for breakups, heartbreak, unrequited love, jealousy, rejection sensitivity or fear of abandonment. The closest is one small trial of in-person hypnotherapy for bereavement, a different loss.
Which of the ten sessions is mine?
Go by what happened, not the word you’d search for. The table sorts all ten by situation, from an ending, a ghosting or a divorce to jealousy, a long one-sided love or bracing for someone to leave.
Where to go next
- Stop Thinking About SomeoneIt’s over; your head hasn’t caught up.
- Unrequited LoveNever a relationship, only a long hope.
- Racing Mind at NightIf the nights went too, start there.
- Forgive and Move OnIf what’s left is a grievance.
- Coping with GriefIf the loss is a death, not a breakup.
- Pet GriefIf the heartbreak is for an animal who has died.
Where these numbers come from
- Yim TH, Derbyshire SWG. A systematic review of hypnosis for clinical pain relief. Eur J Pain. 2026;30(8):e70369. doi:10.1002/ejp.70369
- Verhallen AM, Renken RJ, Marsman JC, Ter Horst GJ. Romantic relationship breakup: an experimental model to study effects of stress on depression (-like) symptoms. PLoS One. 2019;14(5):e0217320. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0217320
- Verhallen AM, Alonso-Martínez S, Renken RJ, Marsman JC, Ter Horst GJ. Depressive symptom trajectory following romantic relationship breakup and effects of rumination, neuroticism and cognitive control. Stress Health. 2022;38(4):653-65. doi:10.1002/smi.3123
- Çınaroğlu M, Yılmazer E, Ülker SV, Çinar F. Effects of Ericksonian hypnotherapy versus cognitive behavioral therapy on prolonged grief among university students: a randomized clinical trial. Int J Clin Exp Hypn. 2026;74(1):93-120. doi:10.1080/00207144.2025.2464747
- Sbarra DA, Emery RE. The emotional sequelae of nonmarital relationship dissolution: analysis of change and intraindividual variability over time. Pers Relatsh. 2005;12(2):213-32. doi:10.1111/j.1350-4126.2005.00112.x
- Wegner DM, Gold DB. Fanning old flames: emotional and cognitive effects of suppressing thoughts of a past relationship. J Pers Soc Psychol. 1995;68(5):782-92. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.68.5.782
- Field T, Diego M, Pelaez M, Deeds O, Delgado J. Breakup distress in university students. Adolescence. 2009;44(176):705-27. PMID: 20432597
- Marshall TC. Facebook surveillance of former romantic partners: associations with postbreakup recovery and personal growth. Cyberpsychol Behav Soc Netw. 2012;15(10):521-6. doi:10.1089/cyber.2012.0125
- Larson GM, Sbarra DA. Participating in research on romantic breakups promotes emotional recovery via changes in self-concept clarity. Soc Psychol Personal Sci. 2015;6(4):399-406. doi:10.1177/1948550614563085
- Sbarra DA, Boals A, Mason AE, Larson GM, Mehl MR. Expressive writing can impede emotional recovery following marital separation. Clin Psychol Sci. 2013;1(2):120-34. doi:10.1177/2167702612469801
- Langeslag SJE, Sanchez ME. Down-regulation of love feelings after a romantic break-up: self-report and electrophysiological data. J Exp Psychol Gen. 2018;147(5):720-33. doi:10.1037/xge0000360
- Department of Health. Better Access initiative [Internet]. Canberra: Australian Government; [cited 2026 Sep 25]. health.gov.au
- Cleveland Clinic. Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) [Internet]. [cited 2026 Sep 25]. my.clevelandclinic.org
Ernest McLeod — clinical hypnotherapist. An Adelaide practice, seeing clients across Australia by video. Fourteen years in practice.
- ICHP
- FELLOW, ASCH
- IICT MEMBER
None of these recordings is mine. What is mine is the choice of ten, and the table that matches each one to what happened. More →
Two things for tonight: mute them on every app, and put the jumper in a box you won’t walk past.
Ninety days to change your mind. Ask the publisher and they refund you in full, no questions asked, one order per customer. The refund is theirs to give, not mine.
Results vary from person to person, and hypnosis does not replace medical care or treatment. Self-help audio only. If you are afraid of a partner: 1800RESPECT, 1800 737 732; in danger, 000. Never listen while driving.